Why Do We Compartmentalize Work?

Every once in a while I still hear the word "compartmentalize." Not as much as I used to, maybe because it's cool to be "integrated" these days. "Whole systems" are in. But I still work with clients who put their Lifey-Life stuff over there, and their Worky-work stuff over here.

Of course they KNOW one affects the other, but there still seems to be a big barbed compartmentalizing-wired fence between the two.

I have always sucked at compartmentalizing, and I used to feel like a weak victim of my emotional life because when something was going down in my personal life I couldn't keep the mood out of my professional life. Of course, we've all leaned on things like jobs as anchors and levelers when other sh*t is kicking our emotional arses from here to kingdom come.

The point being--back to integration and whole systems--is, when you look at your life as a whole, you may have more luck finding deep satisfaction in playing all the parts with each other, instead of against each other. And feel like you have more choice, more room to move, more possiblities.

I was in a chronic head banging situation for years because I wanted to find that one thing and drive it home for decades to come. Which wasn't me. I do a few different things for work, just as I like to swim various strokes, and do various sports and read various types of books. How about you? Have you ever wrestled with goals that just weren't YOU? (But sounded like nice, easy ones to have?)

Here's a little something mind-sparking on the topic, from David Whyte's The Three Marriages: Reimagining Work, Self and Relationship:

"In many ways, work must be a marriage; otherwise, why would we put up with so much over the years? We must have made hidden vows somewhere to follow something larger than the difficulties of the everyday."

I love the hidden vows part. It's like busting the mystery of the stuggle -- it's there, god knows why but let's make it glorious and give in to the current of ... OUR PERSONAL wonderful struggle.

So here's the thought, question, adventure of the mind for you:

What if work and life aren't separate things that need to be compartmentalized but INSTEAD are part of an ongoing conversation that shapes our identity through time? What if work is another higher marriage, a commitment to ourselves in how we express ourselves in whatever falls under the umbrella of "life's work"? How do we express our true selves in the daily life tasks of our work and jobs?

PS: I do use the words "career" and "job" and "profession" -- usually when I'm talking to others because I do value connection and communication.

But in my personal world, it's called my Life's Work, -- and that word Work is broad and encompassing and ever-changing. It's what I do day-in, day-out. Some for money, some of it not. It's important to have the right percentage of paying work though, we're not martyrs here!

When Something Really IS Better Than Nothing

run fast

"Well it's better than nothing ..."

And sometimes, that little bit of something is better than nothing. Maybe that hateful slog of a slo-mo run is better than nothing; maybe showing up to your office and just getting through the g-d day is better than nothing. Maybe a fast, careless creative session of writing or drawing is better than nothing. Maybe a quick conversation with your teen is better than nothing.

But is it true? Let's say you're having a low mojo day like I am today. Isn't it easy to say, especially on a Monday, "As long as I show up and just get through this godforsaken day I'm a star!"

Well screw that, I say. I want to go to bed feeling like I at least did something well. And by "well" I mean, I made an effort to do something that makes me feel accomplished at the end of the day, especially something I want to put off, like: this blog post, or concentrating for a good hour with all my attention on a pain-in-the-ass work project, or getting outside for a brisk half hour walk.

I don't know about you but I may have used up about all the half-assed days I want to. (OK, I know there will be more but I'm willing to keep them to a minimum.)

Here's another (sports) example of doing something small with a big effort:

Last month I bailed on my longer sloggier runs for a two-mile run at the track. I would NEVER have done something like this, ordinarily. And I wasn't really in a running mood, either. So I turned on RunTracker on my iPhone so I could get a virtual coach telling me how fast I was going for some inspiration.

I ran those two miles. And I ran them, fast-- faster than I ever thought I could run. It was exhilarating! My body felt alive and proud of itself, my mind felt alert, my spirit was humming. Compared to those 4-6 mile joyless slogs, this was by far a better use of time. My body felt good the next day too. My chiro told me it was because running fast puts your body in a good position, rather than being slow and sloggy, where you have bad form, bad posture and stress the body. Interesting, eh?

And now, when I am having a low-mojo Monday, I ask myself:

Where can I have a two-mile burst of greatness?

So my invitation to you:

How can you do Something that is so much better than Nothing, that it shows you what you're made of?

Have fun!

When You're Hit With "Why Am I Doing This?"

My favorite party of the year is Seattle's Fat Salmon swim race. Swimmers from all over the area congregate for a morning of socializing around a pair of point-to-point race distances -- one and three miles.

This blog post is about how you start something like, say, a long-distance race, and in the first minute you're asking, "Why am I doing this again?"

It's a common situation: You plan for something, set a goal, pant after it in your daily life and then it shows up and as you step into it and you're suddenly visited by an existential spin of: "What the -- ?" The inner trickster. Here's how I dealt with mine.

Obviously I wasn't going to get out of the water. I tried, but there was no competitive mojo in my body or spirit, so I just settled in and refrained from judging. Sometimes during a race I try to open up to lessons I can take into my work life or personal life. The mantra that entered my mind on Saturday was: "Slow and steady wins the race." I started to argue with this line: But I don't want slow. And I'm certainly not winning any race today!

Still, that seemed to be the leitmotif of my swim, boomeranging back every time I tried to push it away. And it worked, in that it helped me take one stroke after another in an unhurried fashion, accepting the fact I wasn't going to slip into a competitive pace. Here I was, oh well. Mantras can be like a pacing coach.

It turned out to be a pretty good swim, too. I didn't feel overwhelmed by the distance, I didn't winge and whine and get out of the water thinking, Never again!  I lost my timing chip during the swim and was perfectly content to not have to get my time.

And then a friend informed me that I had won my age group. What a surprise! It doesn't make life that much better to tell you the truth, but it does make me giggle. And it makes me value the company (and truth) of a mantra when it comes visiting. It was perfectly 100 percent true for that day.

So on this note --

What one-liner is whispering in your ear when the Trickster shows up?

xo

What Was Your Earliest Fun?

Our childhood offers up a lot of rich, useful information to our adult self.

If you feel like you've fallen off the fun wagon -- you're in a creative mojo descendent, or you've lost your laugh, forgotten how to play -- try on this question:

What are you first memories of fun?

Write down your answers. They can range from something physical (playing tag) to quiet daydreamy time somewhere cozy and private (your room, a tree).

If you feel a bit like a deer-in-headlights , that's okay. We all do at first. Take a deep breath and let you mind wander and catch whatever image first comes to you. After you write down one or two, the faucet turns on and eight hours later lying in bed three more might come to you, presto!

In the meantime, write a list and underline some of the key words. For example, some of my earliest memories of fun were: Running in the playfield with friends to catch the wind and enjoy the feeling of the beeze against my skin; swimming; team sports, daydreaming in my room, performing to Hair and Jesus Christ Superstar, playing cards and board games. Key words: Running, swimming, team sports (collaboration), daydreaming (me time), performing, playing games.

I can look at those words and see how I've A) returned back to these activities in my adult life; B) seen how some of these key words, like performing, are showing up in my working life through giving workshops and C) I can see areas I am depleted in and could fill up a bit (team collaborations and more strategic playing).

Give it a whirl. Take a Fun reconnaissance mission and see what you find there.

I asked this question yesterday at a Fun workshop I gave to some Seattle coaches. Their whole bodies lit up at their rediscoveries. And they saw themes and had a few of those ooohhhhs, when life clicks into making a tiny bit more sense, i.e., we see repeating themes to the story of our lives.

Plus, you might be surprised at how youthful you still are!

xo