The Beauty of a "Bad" Idea

"This is probably a really bad idea but ..." How many of us cover our asses with a prelude sentence like this, before offering up our gem of a thought?

There's also this spin on downselling ourselves and staying stalled: "I don't have any good ideas [on how to move this project forward; start this book; what to do this weekend or eat for dinner]."

But you do! We all have an idea and here's where we can start. We don't need a great idea off the cuff but just ONE to get things going.

Just one brave, adorable, shitty, crappy, ridiculous idea.

Because just one "bad" idea is a start. No more blank paper or open space of nothingness.

It's Hard to Be Bad

I used to give a writing exercise that was to write as badly as you can and as fast as you can. Guess what?

It's HARD. Try it. It's hard when you're writing fast -- writing improvisationally, writing past the nay-saying judge, writing so fast all you can do is trust your instincts.  What you'll find is it's just in one's nature to create something that has a modicum of decency. I'm not talking about trotting it out to the New York Times or the Nobel Prize committee or MOMA but there's going to be something there.

Plus, if you allow yourself a bad idea it's something to push off of. Especially if there's one more person in the room, so, since it's Friday, let's set up this scenario:

A: "What do you want to do this weekend?"

B: "Let's go to the midnight show at the Lusty Lady before it closes."

A: "Hell no. But I'd like to go see a funny movie, like Date Night, followed by Mexican food in bed, how's that?"

Give Your Ego a Kiss and Go For It

The hardest place to step out with a bad idea is at work, of course. Our fragile egos. I'd like to challenge/dare/invite work teams to say it's okay to have a shitty first draft of an idea and that no one has to waste time on any of those ass-covering preludes. Example:

A: "Who has an idea of how we can make more money on our product?"

B: "Let's stand on our heads and see if that helps."

A: "Hmm, that would hurt a few of our heads HOWEVER, maybe we can stand our plan on its head and see how we can do something so differently that we'll catch our customers' attention in a new way."

See?

Turn a Bad Idea Into Something Good

It's easy to say, "Nah, I don't like that" to the offering -- the gift -- of a first draft idea. And then you sit there with your Orphan Annie eyes blinking into the air. Next time, take the idea and use it as a place to push off from. Go in the opposite direction or take a tiny nugget or a word or a letter or a strange-seeming association to push things forward.

What if there were no bad ideas? Free your mind, let the ideas flow. As I write this post, I think of the writers and actors at Saturday Night Live -- can you imagine their idea-generating sessions?

The first "bad" idea is an important start. Consider it just the first in a procession of a string of original thought, creativity and eventual solutions.

And you might end up having a bit more fun, too.

Focus on the What, Let Go of the How

This weekend I went on one of those evening walks. "Those" = it's dusk, I'm feeling lethargic but I know it would be good to go outside and shake my bootie in the fresh air and evening light. Sometimes I'm in such a state of resistance, I change clothes a couple times before getting out the door.

But these days -- the ones I most resist -- are always the times when I bump into a beautiful suprise. A friend I haven't seen in a while, a strange cat, a cool tree -- usually it's a person I run into.

This evening it was a neighborhood woman who just became a new mom in her early 40's and has a great dispostion combo: authentically cheery, relaxed and thoughtful.

She told me how she wanted to live on the water, not by it but on it. "I don't know how it will happen," she chirped, shrugging her shoulders. Her baby was in a cloth carrier on her mom's body, facing out.

"But you know what I think," she added, "I think what's important is focusing on what you want and not knowing, or worrying about how it will happen."

I really needed to hear this. And it felt liberating.

Do you ever get so caught up in the HOW that it stuffs up your creativity, energy -- and to the point where you start to doubt the whole damn idea in the first place?

I then told her about the story of finding my first waterfront apartment. There had been incidents: looking for condos to buy, feeling indecisive about it all and visiting a friend in San Francisco. There was also a mom who sternly said "You have to make up your mind about what you want or it won't happen." I didn't like that at all. I wanted to be one of those lucky ducks who just has the happy decision drop in their laps without thinking it through. But I've never been that person. (I know one person who is and she once admitted to me it may not be the best way to live.)

So after the San Fran trip and seeing a few living spaces that made me realize how much I did not like the cold dark mahogany wood of my current space, I made a pronouncement to myself: I want to live in a 1960's building on the water with wall-to-wall pearl carpeting.

The next day, I found it.

And after that I ended up buying a condo in a building on the water. I knew what I wanted, I didn't worry about the HOWs.

Now is a pretty good time to practice that again. Know what I want and in the meantime just go about living daily life and plowing through my To Do's (which can be fun in themselves, right?).

So that's this week's mission: Know the  WHAT, keep doing what you're doing and don't ride the HOW so damn hard.

Happy Monday, happy week!

xo

You're Inspired! Now What?

My clever-minx friend Therese over at Message Gap made such a great point in a recent post about facing the proverbial blank piece of paper. She writes "perhaps you’re inspired to act by a charismatic chief executive but not sure where to bring all that energy back to the day’s work."

Here's what strikes me about this point. Put this into any context. Take someone who's just been inspired by a book or a talk or a song or a conversation or by surviving an incredibly rough journey that is on the upswing and suddenly this person feels magnificently motivated and inspired to do ...  something.

That something could be to sit down in front of a piece of paper and start writing or drawing; it could be to pick up the phone to have that overdue conversation or learn how to finally write that business plan or adopt a child or join the Peace Corp.

That first rush of YESness is so energizing.

The second eventual rush of NOW WHATness is so ... confusing. Even deflating, to the tune of "Ah, fughetaboutit."

Of course this is why people are going to coaches and counselors and joining common-interest groups and communities: to take that inspiration and make it into something over the course of time. Instead of letting another bloom of YESness wilt away, what if you listened? 

Don't discount a returning idea or vision or calling as just your imagination running away with you.

Write it down. Tell someone. Fan it, nurture it and love it by asking around to see who else might share your interest. Have you ever noticed that the second you discover a new interest or idea, everyone you talk to has something to say about it? When I first started writing poetry about 12 years ago, that's how it seemed to work. Instead of saying Oh, I don't write poetry, I told people I worked with I was curious about poetry. Suddenly: books of poets were stacking on my desk and the ACCOUNTANT of all people was emailing me his favorite poems. It was important stuff let me tell you.

Life gets filled with meaning, joy, and rich connections when you add to it pursuits that really inspire you.

So what if it feels hard and confusing. Anything worth doing well that brings the OH WOW rewards starts off with a big What the F--? In other words, it's effort, and there's fumbling but it's new and energizing too.

What's important is matching the right actions to the inspiration.

You don't feel like it?

That's okay. Nobody ever really wakes up like a super hero and charges to it.

People who live their conviction and make their visions come true do so by stringing together a series of actions that over time makes something happen. Think of a daisy chain of small efforts.

Be a creator. Show yourself what you're made of. And remember -- you don't have to do it alone.

Your best dreams...

are the ones you have while you're wide awake. The best, most successful dreams are the ones you follow up on and make happen. It's easy to rest on the laurels of your big, groovy vision and take comfort in it happening one day.

But this is also why "dreams" get a bad name: so many of us procrastinate on turning our dreams into reality that the word "dream" elicits many an eye roll these days. Dreams are for airy-fairy dreamers.

In some cases it's okay if a dream dies an early death. An occasional idea, thought or inspirational burst may come in and hang out for a while, we play with it a bit and then we realize Nah, not so much and it can float on past to someone else. But somewhere in there, we're hopefully catching other ideas and callings and working on making a few of those legitimate.

If it's a reoccuring real-life dream, something that grabs at you physically, spiritually, mentally and keeps you up at night -- that's a dream that wants to come true.

Stop dreaming and ... start with a series of small steps that are within your control. So, if you're giving in to a years-long nagging to write that book, start by making 15 minutes three times a week to scribble and write. Sign up for a writing class in your neighborhood, or online. If you've always wanted to run a marathon, go buy a pair of running shoes, get a training plan and start talking about what you're doing until you find other runners to play with.

All big dreams start with small bite sized pieces and take patience and an investment in the process.

You really don't know where you'll end up once you start.  That's the excitement of adventures, and following your dreams.

Do You Stay in the Room?

A quick story of practical wisdom:

A couple years ago I was at a writer's conference, where a novelist talked about one key ingredient that makes a writer a writer -- and it wasn't about craft.

He told a story about finishing the very first paragraph of a new novel and how he wanted to race out of the room that moment and celebrate for a year. But he didn't. Instead he stayed in the room. And he returned to the room. And everytime he sat down to work on his novel and wanted to leave he stayed. Even if he didn't write.

Staying in the room is a great metaphor for anything we do with mastery and commitment. Sometimes it's called "showing up." The room can be a writing den, your job, the gym, a classroom, the kitchen--and then sometimes the "room" is the day: getting up and going out into the world when you don't want to.

Where could you stay in the room more -- to get to the next level of mastery?

Have fun -- and know you'll be squirming with many others all over the world who have chosen to stay in the room.

The Passion Problem

A while ago I was at a dinner and got cornered by a woman, newly divorced after a long marriage and a bit tipsy on wine and tequila who was in that What-Do-I-Do-Now threshold. She asked me this  question:

"Tell me, what are you passionate about?"

Oh, Jesus, I thought. Really? Aren't we past all that now? Instead I  mumbled back, "Oh, I've stopped hanging my hat on that kind of thinking." It seems everyone was chasing after passion around Y2K and now the frenzy has died.

Passion. Everyone wants it. And why? Did you know "Passion" is from the latin word "Passio" which means to Suffer? (To suffer for what you love, actually; I learned this on an Easter radio broadcast of Bach's Passion of the Christ.)

Here's my 2c: Passion doesn't have to be about WHAT you do. Why not make it about HOW you do; how you exist inside your skin and move through life and absord the world around you, connect with people you care about. Look at kids and how passionately they express themselves. They're not hanging their hats on one THING that makes them passionate. It's just how they are.

OK, so yes, I get it --  it adds purpose to life to be passionate about something. But if you can tap into a current of deep feeling and caring inside yourself, you'll find passion is tied to the simple things in life starting with being alive and connecting to whatever it is you find beautiful.

If you've lost your passion compass, my advice: Slow down and start paying attention to the little things that bring you into the moment with deep appreciation: a beautiful piece of writing, music, the sunrise, a conversation with someone you love, rewatching a favorite movie, staring at the water or your child's face. You name it.

Passion? It's inside you. Find it there first and then protect it and share it and nurture it.

And have fun with it, LOTS of fun.

A Writing Kick Start: Write With Others, Alone

You know how it is when you haven't written for a while?

Sounds of creak creak coming from the creative well and whispers of Can I still do this rising from the doubting monkey mind.

On December 30, I wrote my first poem of 2009. In past years I've written almost daily and now I felt like a deer in headlights: Where to start?

I had to put on my coaching hat and do what I'd suggest others do to get back on the pony: Get on the back of another poem (you can do this for any other genre too.)

Here's how I got back on the Poetry Pony:

• Went to Poetry Daily to get  a poem. Thankfully it was a poem by a poet I love, Frank Bidart.
• Went to my local cafe and sat down with a printed out copy of the poem. I read it and then wrote to it line-by-line with this formula: I inverted every word and phrase of Bidart's poem.
• Wrote to the end and then started to revise.
• Did I feel incompetent and out of shape and frustrated? HELL NO. It felt damn good to sit there communing with poetry. If you were at the Madison Park Starbucks on Dec 30th, and saw a woman sitting by a window with tears in her eyes, well -- that was me.

Most of the time we're writing, it's the process that matters. We can pull in our critical selves when it's time to do the revising and editing and prep a piece for public viewing. Until then, what matters is the doing, discovering, playing. Lock the judge in her bedroom until you're ready for her. But back to kick starting yourself.

Use other writers and poems/paragraphs as scaffolding

Use other writers, their work -- or some of your previous work -- as support, a writing partner or scaffolding.

Write in between the lines of a poem: write your version of each image or phrase; write the opposite, (as I did in the above example); use the lines  simply as company so you don't have white space in front of you.

Or, write your version of the next line of that poem all the way through. When you're done, remove the original poem and see what you have. Even if it feels like it's going to be nonsensical, you'll be surprised.

If you're a prose writer, take a paragraph you love from an essay or novel and do your version of the same.

Even if you're spending time copying the work of a fave writer all you're doing is giving yourself a writing work out and learning from a pro. Consider it skill-building.

The point is usually to Just Write

And if it helps to write with someone else's poem or opening novel paragraph or brilliant essay passage, do it.

You don't have to do it alone, you know.

Have fun!