When Something Really IS Better Than Nothing

run fast

"Well it's better than nothing ..."

And sometimes, that little bit of something is better than nothing. Maybe that hateful slog of a slo-mo run is better than nothing; maybe showing up to your office and just getting through the g-d day is better than nothing. Maybe a fast, careless creative session of writing or drawing is better than nothing. Maybe a quick conversation with your teen is better than nothing.

But is it true? Let's say you're having a low mojo day like I am today. Isn't it easy to say, especially on a Monday, "As long as I show up and just get through this godforsaken day I'm a star!"

Well screw that, I say. I want to go to bed feeling like I at least did something well. And by "well" I mean, I made an effort to do something that makes me feel accomplished at the end of the day, especially something I want to put off, like: this blog post, or concentrating for a good hour with all my attention on a pain-in-the-ass work project, or getting outside for a brisk half hour walk.

I don't know about you but I may have used up about all the half-assed days I want to. (OK, I know there will be more but I'm willing to keep them to a minimum.)

Here's another (sports) example of doing something small with a big effort:

Last month I bailed on my longer sloggier runs for a two-mile run at the track. I would NEVER have done something like this, ordinarily. And I wasn't really in a running mood, either. So I turned on RunTracker on my iPhone so I could get a virtual coach telling me how fast I was going for some inspiration.

I ran those two miles. And I ran them, fast-- faster than I ever thought I could run. It was exhilarating! My body felt alive and proud of itself, my mind felt alert, my spirit was humming. Compared to those 4-6 mile joyless slogs, this was by far a better use of time. My body felt good the next day too. My chiro told me it was because running fast puts your body in a good position, rather than being slow and sloggy, where you have bad form, bad posture and stress the body. Interesting, eh?

And now, when I am having a low-mojo Monday, I ask myself:

Where can I have a two-mile burst of greatness?

So my invitation to you:

How can you do Something that is so much better than Nothing, that it shows you what you're made of?

Have fun!

What Was Your Earliest Fun?

Our childhood offers up a lot of rich, useful information to our adult self.

If you feel like you've fallen off the fun wagon -- you're in a creative mojo descendent, or you've lost your laugh, forgotten how to play -- try on this question:

What are you first memories of fun?

Write down your answers. They can range from something physical (playing tag) to quiet daydreamy time somewhere cozy and private (your room, a tree).

If you feel a bit like a deer-in-headlights , that's okay. We all do at first. Take a deep breath and let you mind wander and catch whatever image first comes to you. After you write down one or two, the faucet turns on and eight hours later lying in bed three more might come to you, presto!

In the meantime, write a list and underline some of the key words. For example, some of my earliest memories of fun were: Running in the playfield with friends to catch the wind and enjoy the feeling of the beeze against my skin; swimming; team sports, daydreaming in my room, performing to Hair and Jesus Christ Superstar, playing cards and board games. Key words: Running, swimming, team sports (collaboration), daydreaming (me time), performing, playing games.

I can look at those words and see how I've A) returned back to these activities in my adult life; B) seen how some of these key words, like performing, are showing up in my working life through giving workshops and C) I can see areas I am depleted in and could fill up a bit (team collaborations and more strategic playing).

Give it a whirl. Take a Fun reconnaissance mission and see what you find there.

I asked this question yesterday at a Fun workshop I gave to some Seattle coaches. Their whole bodies lit up at their rediscoveries. And they saw themes and had a few of those ooohhhhs, when life clicks into making a tiny bit more sense, i.e., we see repeating themes to the story of our lives.

Plus, you might be surprised at how youthful you still are!

xo

The Beauty of Getting Lost

A friend of mine emails me to report she is feeling lost, having a crisis of identity.

"How about you?" she asks.

Oh, I've been there. Haven't most of us who've hit the thorny woods of midlife? 

Transitions -- they can be hell. But once you get the hang of the ass-kickingness of a big one, they can also be really cool. Like the screaming fun of a roller coaster ride.

I tell myself that feeling lost is just a feeling -- and while feelings are powerful, they aren't always the truth. So, you may feel lost, but it doesn't mean you are.

Plus, I have a theory. Getting lost can be a beautiful necessity.

Every so often we have to lose ourselves to find ourselves anew. It's like renewing our personal contract with our life: renewing values, relationships, visions, missions, and so forth.

Still, when transitions and feelings of lostness and identity shifts come to visit, life can get challenging. Probably because we only put our heads up and look around when we're feeling uncomfortable. Discomfort's gift is a willingness to change and reconsider the paths we're on -- an important reconnaissance mission.

So, in the spirit of adventure and being your full bad-ass self in transition, here are a few questions to consider for the quest:

• What do you know about yourself that is true?
• What new truth might be coming forth during this time, to take you forward in life?
• What can you renew in your own personal contract with life?

Take your curiosity and some good questions with you on the journey. Questions are like your super power, they'll keep you traveling more lightly on your feet.

Here's to your spirit of adventure! xo

That Job You Want? Give It To Yourself.

You know, you really can give yourself any job you want.

So maybe your business card says Director of Marketing, Math Wizard or Founder/CEO. Maybe you're temporarily in transition. All you have to do is locate your own personal life-work mission. Imagine this job description is the story with the magic subtext -- one that gives an important lifeline to What You Do. Your personal job description/mission might not be what people immediately see, but it's what they feel.

For example, maybe you write copy for The Man, but in your heart you're a harbinger of diplomacy among people trying to communicate in different styles. You can bring all those clashing leitmotifs into harmony. So you give yourself the title of Creative Diplomat. I knew of a real estate broker years ago who called herself (privately) a lifestyle coach and focused on helping couples have the best experience possible as they navigated through the prickly process of choosing a new home. If you're in transition, find an archetypal role you think is yours to the core and start playing that out in daily life with friends, family, volunteer work, at the local coffee shop, on informational interviews as much as possible.  I mean, really -- who's to stop you?

Personal example: I had a job as a technical writer at a company where I was not producing the most world-enlightening copy. However, what did matter to me was that I brought fun  to the work place. Fun to me means my co-workers feel engaged and enthusiastic about their work, there's happy collaboration, there's learning and excelling and plenty of laughing. It makes work meaningful, rewarding and something to even (GASP) look forward to. So being the Fun nurturer was my personal mission and job description.

Now, how about you? What job description might you give yourself that brings your true essence into your work life and the lives of others?

Have fun giving yourself your own job title. If you come up with something, share!

xo

What Do You Love To Do?

If you want to have more fun, feel more engaged, wag your tail more, ask yourself one very important question: Am I doing enough of the things I love to do?

I'm talking daily life Loves, like: cooking, reading, sports, movies, walking, hobbies, enough time with your favorite people.

Start with a love list

• Write a list of the things you love to do. (See examples above and expand; anything goes.)
• Next, fill the list out with some context, i.e.: I love to cook with my kids. I love to trail run with friends. I love going to a matinee by myself. I love reading in a coffee shop surrounded by the smell of coffee and sweet pastries... you get the picture.

How many of the items on your list -- that are within your control -- are you doing? How many of them are doable but they're falling through the cracks?

Pick one of them up. Pick up another. Step up and make small tiny efforts over time to make these Loves happen.

Fun is important. Having more engagement, laughter, tail-wagging, purring hums of contentedness -- this is the stuff that makes life and all the gorgeous struggles worthwhile!

But it takes effort. Fun doesn't happen without you turning the wheel. It's not insta-delivery service falling out of the sky, Surprise!

Just for the record ...

I asked myself this question recently when I felt myself sinking into an existential funk. I wrote down a list of Loves, five items and it took about ten seconds. When I looked at my list I saw what was missing: "with others" was the context part that was falling through the crack. So the following week I went to work on adding the "with others,"  by finding professional groups and doing a bit of networking. And my funk drifted away once it had focus and an assignment. Which is ongoing (don't drop the ball folks).

Don't forget the high five

When you write down your list of things you love to do, don't forget to pay tribute to this: Where are you succeeding? Then, give yourself a high five -- before asking:

And what do you need to add back into your life?

Start with one item, shine the sun of your affection and attention on it and go!

Hint: The things we love to do, we love for a reason. They're part of our gift, our purpose, our natural expression. So the more you do these Loves, the better life is, for you and everyone around you.

If you make this a project that lights up your curiosity, you'll find your entire outlook changing. Enjoy, and share what you find there.

xo t

Are You a Job Slave or Bliss Follower?

American mythologist and scholar Joseph Campbell said, "I think the person who takes a job in order to live -- that is to say, for the money -- has turned himself into a slave." I always like the message of a quote like this, probably because I am not one of these slaves -- I've always "followed my bliss," as Campbell liked to say. But the reason why I like this quote is because I need it. At a time right now, when I'm building a new business and filled with all kinds of uncertainty, a quote like this can cheer me on.

But I also feel for another reality of those of us who have taken jobs more for the money than for deep meaning or fulfillment. Some of us have needed it, some of us have started on that path and are now stuck there, not sure how to get out of it, and let's face it -- we live in an increasingly expensive and materialistic world. It's tough to "follow your bliss." As someone who has chosen to -- actually, it's more that I'm wired to -- do work I really like and care about, I feel for both stuggles.

The struggles to do work you don't like in order to provide for a family; and the struggles to do the work you love while dealing with uncertainty, isolation, doubt and fear. And then there are the places in between these two extremes.

I've worked for companies and on my own over the years and I've liked both experiences for different reasons. I like the community and collaboration of a company job; I like the regular pay check, the insurance and generally the sense of being taken cared of.

But it doesn't take long for me to start feeling bored and restless in the routine, with the politics and the same-ol, same-ol.

I got my first clue when I was 23, working at my  first job in NYC, an advertising job, when after a very unsatisfying first year of working in circles I started asking my team members, "Why do you do this? Do you like this work?" My answers were all along the lines of, "What else is there to do?" I found those answers totally unacceptable.

Have I had a better life leaving this so-called "prison" and doing work I like, that has meaning and diversity and creativity? Who knows, but I don't think I am better off or a better person or enjoying my life any more.

I've struggled and been broke, unemployed, lonely and despairing while others have marched to their daily jobs, building their 401ks and getting on in life. However --

It's the right life, with the right successes and challenges for me. And I don't have a big history of jobs I hated or jobs I've been bored at and the changes along the way have also fit my temperament and personality.

I believe we have the life that works best for us, at least when we're making intentional decisions.

At some point in life we get an opportunity to take all those breadcrumbs and patterns and sign posts and start to consider a new way of working, living -- and committing to that. It might be a tiny shift, like working 40 hours a week instead of 60. It might be quitting your job to do that thing you've always wanted to do (which recessions can be good for; many people who lose their jobs are often freed up to follow a new path).

Either way, creating a good working life can be a struggle -- but a beautiful one, filled with surprising encounters, self-discovery, connections and euphoric buzzes of purpose and meaning that go beyond one's wildest expectations.  Even a sense of peace.

A friend recently responded to my biz building efforts with, "That sounds hard." Yes, sorta. But what's harder for me is going to a job day in day out that I don't like.

I care about having a fulfilling working live, and I care about other peoples' working lives. I've been at enough companies where I've witnessed people just not having a great time at work. Some of it is their own choice (we all know those chronic bitchers). But still, what a sad situation, that so many of us go off to our jobs with rounded shoulders and tired souls.

This is one reason why I want to coach professionals. I want to do what I can to help people have more fun at work, feel more fulfilled, use their innate imagination and creativity to manifest a better work-life experience.

Because when you're happier and I'm happier and he's happier and she's happier ... it affects all of us. What a beautiful world it would be if more people even liked their work more than they already do.

So, whether you're a job slave or bliss follower, or somewhere in between, what do you think of Campbell's quote?

What are you doing right now to have a life-work experience that brings you some kind of joy, fulfillment and sense of purpose?

Here's to all of you hard workers!

xo t

Creative Problem Solving, Gaudi-Style

Over a year ago I visited Spain where I spent time in Barcelona and other Northern towns standing in complete awe before the amazingly fantastical architectural creations by Antonio Gaudi (1852 – 1926). He’s famous for the Sagrada Familia, a church that’s still under construction, among other Disney-esque buildings, parks, homes and churches.

Gaudi was an architect who studied Euclid’s geometry and worked in various art forms, like sculpture. Whenever he was stuck on a problem he went outside and studied the natural world for solutions.

His home is in the Park Gruel which is filled with tiled creatures, arched pillared walkways, and colorful fairyland-esque structures.

He says he never owned or referred to an architecture book when he was stuck on a project. Instead, he got all the answers he needed by studying a tree outside one of the windows of his house.

This is one of my favorite stories of creative problem solving and creation. His devotion to the natural world, and looking to it for ideas made him one of the most unique architects in history.

So let’s take a page out of Gaudi’s book. The solution you’re looking for may very well be in the singular act of looking up and out the nearest window.