Is there something to like about the sleepless stress of worries? I detest  the deep rut of worry. It's self-absorbing and it stops most of the flow of possibility, creativity, joy or juicy connections.

And yet I do it, even when I know in any given situation I have a choice: Worry through it or Not worry through it.

I think it's easy to stay with Worry when we don't give ourselves a picture or feeling of what "not worry" is.

In the past week I got a new perspective on worry, stress, et al. It came through a very sad occurence, the death of a dear, sassy, strong friend who I saw in her last few days of life after a brave battle with cancer.

I was in part greedily wondering if this would be a lesson to me to stop sweating some areas of my life. What came to me was, No, part of life is having these challenges and Oh Shits and Jesus Christ Will I Ever ______, and What now?

These work-money-love-existential struggles and worries are the gift and grit of daily life. It's what we do. The choice here is, am I going to roll up my sleeves and get after it with verve and playfulness, or am I going to blink my eyes and say "scary" and move through the hard times with one hand over an eye? I want the more verve, thank you very much!

That was when I decided to love the ability to have worries, preoccupations, challenges and the Oh Shits.

It's living. The beautiful challenges that come from living deeply, taking risks to have richer connections with people; challenging yourself in more fulfilling ways and showing up for people, places and things when stormy weather systems move in.

I know when my friend S got sick, she looked at her illness for lessons. And she was an ace at showing up.

The lesson -- or awakening here is thus: be strong, savor those daily life worries. Thrive in them, that's what we're here for.