So it's Monday, I'm back from a short sunny holiday, and returning to a week that has a lot of cool different stuff going on.

But there's still the time-management struggle of facing time outside the construct of a J-J-Job.

So in an effort to be about as productive as someone who does magic with lists and tick marks and who's also probably of a different ethnic and brain-dominant background than me, I dared to ask:

How can I be as productive as possible this week?

After checking in with myself and my subconscious and whatever wiser higher being I could find, what came to me was this: throw the question out. Throw it out!

In order to avoid being an agnst-ridden doggie chasing her tail--what to do next? what to do next?--I'm going to try something else for shits and giggles.

I am going to try to waste as much time as I can this week.

A bit of background: I had a bit of a meltdown last week. I lost my sense of fun. I got grumpy and overwhelmed and self-doubty and my sense of play lay wimpering at my feet. So, it seems that my higher wiser self came in and put the nix on anything like "Making the most out of my week."

Instead, this week is an experiment at putting away the lists and to stop chasing my tail and just see what happens if my goal is to waste time. Burn a hole in it, just beat it down. Waste it away!
Maybe I'll just have to trust that the stuff that needs to get done will. The book projects and cool ideas and stuff like that.

Yes, I do have a calendar and make appointments that I write down and I actually do keep to. But there are margins of time around those appointments. And that's when I can fall prey to doing a lot of this:

So I'm going to see what this brings me this week, and I'll report back.

Let me put a few things in context. While I may be what some are calling a "recessionista," I am also someone who has, like most people, a diverse set of interests. I guess I just don't want anyone to think I'm a slacker.

So let me cover my ass for a second here. I am currently a student in a coach training program; I'm a writer of various genres and book possibility projects; I have some business ideas that are being researched; I have paying work to look for; friends to see; sports to do; books to read; projects to NOT forget about; people to coach, and so on.

So lots to do. It's not HOW to fill time but in what order. Where, when, how.

And the trick is to spend as little time caught in the WHAT DO I DO NEXT space.

A related aside: I've really noticed something the last few weeks. It seems most of us have these dueling selves. It comes out in conversations like, "I really want to write but there's a part of me that just doesn't believe I can." My dueling selves happen to be (1) the creative free spirit and (2), the mean accountant. They exist to work together and serve me; it's best when the nay-saying admin gets out of the way but still, there's a reason for both of these selves to exist. I guess.

And when they don't get along I feel a bit like this:

Skimpy psychoanalyzing aside, let's move on to Wasting Time.

So far, since making that proclamation, 5 hours have passed and I have:

Gone for a swim.
Made a new artist friend I may collaborate with.
Started reading a book that will be good brain food.
Read said book at beach.
Made dinner.
Organized course work. (Did someone say organized?)
Wrote this blog.
Answered emails.
Kept focusing on, Waste time, just waste it.
And found myself really excited to do all of this stuff.

Of course I don't like the word "waste." Maybe it will change into something else like "play"--but why future trip already.

But for some of us that reverse psychology just works.

And my relationship with time could probably use a bit of a standing on its head.

What if you tell yourself to Waste as much time as you can? What happens?

I'm here to find out.